I was in a singing mood today and this song means a lot to me, so I was implored to record and share.
I’m a month or so shy of 26 years old and to be perfectly honest I thought I’d have accomplished more by now. It all has to do with perspective, I suppose. On the one hand I have lived on my own in a strange place (The Hamptons™), I’ve had over 100 articles published with my byline, I’ve developed long-term relationships with clients as a freelance marketing consultant and I even saw one of my articles – and the headline I came up with – go viral in 2015. Still, it always seems like I should be doing more, even if I don’t know what.
I learned a lot about myself last year. I learned I’m not as strong as I think I am, but I have the potential to be stronger than I think I can be. It shows at times – that righteous (one could argue self-righteous) side of me that doesn’t take people’s bullshit. Other times I accidentally give people a glimpse of what I’m trying to hide – an insecure, angry girl still holding sixth grade grudges.
With that being said it’s not all to do with my professional life and family/relationships when I say I feel like I should have accomplished more. I guess part of me feels like I should have had a grand revelation about life and its pitfalls. I’m sure there’s some kind of scientific study that shows we don’t fully mature emotionally until we’re about to die – because that’s the jolly future most studies predict – but I want that moment of transcendence now.
I want to REALLY not care what anyone thinks. I want to love myself unconditionally. I want to walk down the beach in a bikini with my not-so-typical bikini body holding a basket of cheese fries while Move B***H by Ludacris blasts.
However, I’m not there yet. I’m still growing. And I guess that’s something I need to live with for now. Until I’m there I can continue to take baby steps… like practicing not having my blood pressure spike when a friend is late to the bar or continuing to build my professional skills despite the ups and downs of the market and my bank account.
So standing here at 2019 I make the conscious decision to face whatever comes my way. Everything may not be the way I want it, but I’m making progress and that’s something I know I should be proud of.
So I’ve been told I’m an “oversharer.” I tend to stay up until about 3 or 4 a.m. and sometimes, occasionally… every day I end up posting the random thoughts that my unconscious ego feels necessary to share.
In my defense, the nuns were really cunty. She just wanted to sing during her free time!
But, you get my drift? No one really cares (except for that one mental health advocate who liked it!).
So this is my new domain. You want to know the crazy shit that runs through my head? Well stayed tuned. I can think of at least 8 tweets that would get 0% engagement right now.
If you don’t, bye!
Additionally (Can I use that? Does it match the tone? Whatever, Yoast told me transition words are good for “readability”), I will be posting film and theatre reviews because I want to and I don’t feel like making a separate blog. And just to note, these aren’t BroadwayWorld reviews. They will include a tad more criticism, constructively of course. Although I do my best to implement that into my BroadwayWorld reviews as well despite certain, er, limitations.
So hang out, grab your favorite prescription medication and join me as I overshare as much as I want.